Some girl is sleeping in my bed…

Life is interesting… Or maybe I should say people are interesting. Matter of fact I’m interesting (not to toot my own horn or anything). I have dreamed of living in New York City longer than I can remember. I’ve always been infatuated with the lights, glamour, hustle, people, food, and art. Another dream of mine was to become a clothing Buyer. I’ve always wanted to be the person that chose the fabulous blouse and great jeans that made someone’s day. Whelp a few months ago, after years of studying the business, struggling, failing, then finally succeeding, my dreams came true. I got promoted to Buyer and moved to New York City into a fabulous (yet small) studio apartment on the Upper East Side. Everyday, I now get to select, edit, and buy the fabulous blouse and jeans that I’ve always wanted to.

Life is great and I could not ask for anything more. To get to see a dream of mine come to fruition at the tender age of 24, is amazing and powerful at the same time. I am so proud of myself and everything that I’ve accomplished. But.. and there is always a but… in transitioning into my self defined greatness I’ve also realized that I’ve left a lot behind me; my home in Boston, friends, and boyfriend. My old roommate has found a new roommate, my boyfriend still frequents our old hangout spots without me, and my friends are still up to their antics without me present. My intentions when writing this were to express how sad I was about everything not stopping because I was no longer present, which I know sounds wildly self-centered of me, but this is my blog and I can speak my truth (so ha!).

After further thought I now realize that my decision to move was a critical and necessary one for ME. I chose to make the decision to move to NYC and live alone to challenge myself and live out my dreams. To think that everything would stop or slow down purely because I was no longer there was ridiculous. Life goes on. It doesn’t slow down for anything or anyone. For the past three months, I have felt like I’ve been missing out on everything in Boston, when in actuality I’ve been missing out on things in New York. I now realize that sometimes you have to let go of something good to get something great (career wise, not my friends/ boyfriend.. I love them).

To sit and wish I was somewhere else is to waste where I am now. I need to sit back and enjoy the fruits of my labor. I got here…. now to figure out what to do with it all.

You Can Only Control the Controllables

I am a control freak, this I know.  If there is anything I know about myself, it’s that if it can be planned, put into an Excel spreadsheet, checked off, or crossed out, I am all over it. For those of you who are the “fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants” kind of people, I either sound like an alien from another planet or your best friend. My ability to juggle tons of details is perfect for my line of work, but murderous in all other aspects of my life, like the weather, my love life, friendships, and the general day- to-day functions of being a human being.

This past Sunday, I watched an episode of Super Soul Sunday on OWN featuring DeVonn Franklin a film executive, pastor, author, motivational speaker, and husband to Meaghan Good. Throughout the episode he used an analogy that related life to a movie project. He spoke in a spiritual sense about God being the director and us being there to co-create our lives. He went on to talk about conflict being the key to building character and growing on-screen and off.  Like any good movie, the ability of actors to accept conflict and push themselves to further to new heights, is the key to developing the storyline (and makes for great ratings!).

He went on to say that we needed to know what the vision of our lives was, and gain clarity about our purpose. Without doing so, we would be unclear of our next steps and goals.

Whether you are a religious, spiritual, or an atheist, the message can still be received.  What I got out of it, was that we can not control everything in our lives, so the less we stress about everything being “perfect” the more we can concentrate on development and growth. The more we persevere through hardships, struggles, and against eating that delicious chocolate fudge brownie, the more we grow as people (I am trying to give up sweet treats!).

Being a twenty-something is hard purely for the fact that I have no idea who I am yet. I have no idea what it really feels like to hit rock bottom, nor do I want to. I have no idea how far I will go or how long it will take me to get there.  But I will say that it feels damn great to know that I can’t fuck this up because I cannot control everything else around me. All I can control is myself, and in some way that’s empowering. I have to have faith in myself that I can create my vision, my inspiration, and my development, the rest is up to the universe.

Here’s a link to a clip from the episode: Super Soul Sunday- DeVon Franklin

Jamba Juice Ain’t Got Nothing on Me

This morning I woke up at 6:00 a.m. And if you knew me, you’d know that is UNHEARD of for this woman. I am not to be disturbed until after my first sip of coffee. But this morning was different; this morning, I had planned to start the morning healthy and take the first steps toward a different lifestyle. After spending more than half my Sunday looking up workouts, vitamin supplements, probiotics, healthy food choices, and recipes for the perfect smoothie; I set out on my journey to the grocery store. With my bags a lot heavier and wallet A LOT lighter, I returned armed and ready for the healthy life I’ve been talking about since the beginning of the year and in my previous post You’re Only as Strong as your Weakest Link.

Being the planner that I am, I planned out my meals for the week, and breakfast I decided would be special.  Breakfast, was going to be a Citrus Berry Smoothie, which I was so exited to try out. So excited, that I woke up at the crack of dawn and dragged the boyfriend into the kitchen to witness my amazing “future wife making smoothie skills”.  As I  got out all the necessary ingredients, I talked up how good this smoothie was going to be, how great we were both going to feel, and how a healthy life was the best life. But as I reached for the blender, my weak non iron pumping arms gave out and for what felt like 30 minutes everything was in slow motion. As I watched the blender slowly crash to the floor and shatter into a million little pieces, I felt my citrus smoothie dreams crash along with it. Talk about starting your morning right.

Attempt #2 tomorrow:  I bought a new blender and I even did a few push-ups for good measure.

Food for Thought: Morning Digest

My roommate and one of my best friends definitely falls under the category of “insatiable article reader”, she goes hours without even noticing anyone is in the room (which totally sucks when you want to have a conversation with someone other than yourself).  However, one of the perks of having a friend who is obsessed with reading articles, it that they tend to share. This morning I woke up to an e-mail titled “Food for Thought”, knowing that it was from my beloved article reader, I braced myself for a long one. But to my surprise, it was short, sweet, and thought invoking; my favorite kind!  Here it is:

“An old Cherokee chief took his grandchildren into the forest and sat them down and said to them, “A fight is going on inside me. This is a terrible fight and it is a fight between two wolves. One wolf is the wolf of fear, anger, arrogance, and greed. The other wolf is the wolf of courage, kindness, humility, and love.” The children were very quiet and listening to their grandfather with both their ears as he then said to them, “This same fight between the two wolves that is going on inside of me is also going on inside of you, and inside of every person. They thought about it for a minute, and then one child asked the chief, “Grandfather, which wolf will win the fight?”

He said quietly, “The one you feed.”

 – Old Cherokee legend, quoted in Someday You’ll Thank Me for This!

It made me realize that I am in control of how I choose to start my day. I make the conscious choice to feed each wolf that lives in me. Hope this finds all of you well this morning!

My roommate also has a blog, Check hers out: EverythingTaylored

Click here for the origins of the story.

My Life, One Big Romantic Comedy

I’ve been in a relationship for almost a year now and it’s unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. We have a genuine connection without all the drama. It’s just two people who are best friends and share common interests. It’s one of those relationships that forced me to re-evaluate all of my previous ones and smack myself for all the dumb decisions I’ve made. The difference between this relationship and all others, is that I realized that if I wanted that “Rom-Com” kind of love, I needed to cast the right actor for the role. I needed to find that person that I *SPARKED* with, who I had that organic chemistry with. I was in search of the “Carrie & Big” kind of chemistry, minus all the breakup stuff. So I set my sights on meeting my “Mr. Big” and lucky me, I found him!

In this life, you have to use all resources to gain perspective on all things foreign, why should love be any different? Romantic Comedies can be used as tools to gain the upper hand in all things related to love, if used properly. You laugh now, but having watched He’s Just Not That Into You, Hitch, The Devil Wears Prada, and all six seasons of Sex and the City more than 1,000 times I am fully qualified to speak on all things pertaining to love. I know in my previous posts I’ve warned against watching movies (see: Don’t Watch Movies) when getting out of a relationship, but when trying to start one, movies are the perfect vehicle to learn from others’ mistakes without having to go through the embarrassment yourself.

Situation #1 : You’ve been dating the same guy for 7 years, you live together, and he hasn’t proposed because he doesn’t believe in marriage. Solution: Break up with him. When you have a family emergency and he comes back like a Knight in shining armor , take him back. Remind yourself that the only conditions that need to be placed on your relationship are the ones you mutually agree upon.

Situation #2: You broke up with your guy after finding out that he’s secretly the “Date-Doctor”, whom you think only helps guys get into bed with women, but then find out that he’s actually the “Love Doctor”. Solution: Apologize, and when he doesn’t accept it, wait. When he finally figures out that you are the one, play hard-to-get. Feel free to use your sister’s good-looking husband as a prop in your scheme. Remind yourself that you are worth him taking the leap of faith with you in this relationship, even if his leap includes a physical one on top of your Mini Cooper.

Situation #3: When you and your guy breakup because you finally got a job that will open a ton doors for you, and propel you further in your career; and you spend more time at work, going to parties, running errands around NYC, wearing Chanel boots, and flying to Paris than you spend eating Jarlsberg grilled cheese sandwiches in your studio apartment with your boyfriend. Solution: You will realize that your job sucks; you’ll quit and still get an awesome reference. Then, you’ll end up meeting up with your ex and he’ll tell you he’s moving to Boston, you’ll know that the train ride is only 3 hours from NYC and you two will have time to work on your relationship

Situation#4: If you have been dating a guy for 10 years, but he he’s having a tough time committing to you, moves to Napa, has his guard up ALL the time, gets married and divorced twice, and still has trouble getting out of limos to join you at the altar. Solution: Remind yourself that love does not conquer all; you still need to pay rent, and live your own life. Things generally don’t work out when you are willing to give more than the other person. After you both realize this, it will be the most opportune time for the love of your life to literally sweep you off your feet.

I can’t say it’s a perfect science, but hey.. Something clicked

Be Aggressive. B-E Aggressive

Life is too short to be messing around not going for what you want. No matter how big or small, find some time to find yourself and do things that make you happy!  Who knows what could come of your …

Sometimes We All Need to be a Little Selfish

If I had a boyfriend who was romantic and sweet, then I wouldn’t be so pissed off all the time… If I had those new $600 boots, then I wouldn’t need anything else for the Fall season. Sometimes, it can be incredibility …

My Love Affair with Falling in Like

Why is that women don’t feel complete without the love and affection from a man? Okay so maybe the last statement may have been a little broad but nonetheless most of you know where I’m coming from. Life is just so different when you’re checking your phone every time you think you heard a vibration or magically you hear the new ringtone you just downloaded ( that you programmed just for him) don’t judge, you know you’ve all done it before. Point blank you walk a little taller, smile a little bigger, and even dress a little sexier( not sluttier ladies, just sexier), Courtney at the office doesn’t bother you ohh so very much and you can’t even explain this giddyness except to proclaim ” he said.. Have a great morning!”

I’m not saying it’s pathetic, because honestly thats what all of us young women are looking for. To know that you are being thought of and to know that he (in your most girly voice of voices) has been thinking about you. Your thoughts are consumed and all you want to do is spend more time with that person. You’ve thought about your next conversation, your next date, hell your wedding, honeymoon suite and what (insert children’s’ names here) will look like in the annual family Christmas card.

So ladies how is it that this man can alter us in such a way after a few dates? How is it possible to be so topsy turvy, so infatuated, so “in like” and so excited for something so new?

It’s natural, its’ what keeps the excitement in our lives. I mean who doesn’t love love? Who wouldn’t want someone to love you for you, someone who adores you? I mean come on you’ve just spent some of that rent money on a new outfit, new clutch and M.A.C eye shadow just for him! ( all of which I have done in the past, and do not condone let’s be financially smart here)  And then it hits you, the first time he sees you without makeup and says “You’re so beautiful”. You melt. You die. You want to immediately call your girlfriends and gush even before you have the time to breathe and say “Thank you”.

And when this new infatuation wears off and you find out that he may not be the guy for you. Remember that this love/ infatuation thing happens at first with everyone, it’s up to you to not be lazy and find the right one for you!

Go out there, BE YOU and find him ladies.