Sometimes We All Need to be a Little Selfish

If I had a boyfriend who was romantic and sweet, then I wouldn’t be so pissed off all the time…

If I had those new $600 boots, then I wouldn’t need anything else for the Fall season.

Sometimes, it can be incredibility easy to displace our happiness onto someone else or something else. At times it seems easier because when the outcome we seek is not what occurred, we have someone and something else to blame. Simply put, it’s easy to “face” life when you are never at fault. I am allowed to be in a shitty mood because he didn’t give me the time to show him how much I truly did care. I didn’t get the promotion I deserved, so now I have the right to talk about how incompetent my boss is and how stupid she must be for not acknowledging my hard work. It seems so much easier to blame others, essentially giving out the right to our own happiness.

In reality, we are in control of our happiness. It’s when we decided to place our happiness in others, where the issue arises. Work may suck and yes your boyfriend may be worthless, but you have sole custody to your foundation of happiness. Life is hard and yes we have our ups and downs, we have moments of clarity and moments of complete and utter darkness, but through those moments are when we truly get to know ourselves.

I graduated from college having a job and a plan of what my life was and how I was going to live it.

I planned the life I was going to live for the next 20 years at the ripe age of 21. I seriously thought I knew everything. I am NOT kidding; there was no doubt in my mind about how my life was going to go.

Then I was awaken by disappointment, hurt, laughter, love, and heartbreak. I placed my happiness in others and other situations. I had no idea who I was, what I stood for, what my hobbies were, what kind of guys I liked, or even who my friends were. It was the scariest time in my life, but from that moment on, I realized that this was the time to find myself.

In a sheer and utter panic, I took the time to figure out who I truly was, and then move forward with life.

A good friend told me “This is the time to figure yourself out, so that when the time comes for you to choose the one you are going to share your life with, you are your absolute best self.”

Wise words from a friend who was going through the same process as I was. This is the time in our lives to find out who we are and do the things that make us happy because at the end of the day we have to go to sleep knowing our own happiness before we can even think about sharing it with others.


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