Some girl is sleeping in my bed…

Life is interesting… Or maybe I should say people are interesting. Matter of fact I’m interesting (not to toot my own horn or anything). I have dreamed of living in New York City longer than I can remember. I’ve always been infatuated with the lights, glamour, hustle, people, food, and art. Another dream of mine was to become a clothing Buyer. I’ve always wanted to be the person that chose the fabulous blouse and great jeans that made someone’s day. Whelp a few months ago, after years of studying the business, struggling, failing, then finally succeeding, my dreams came true. I got promoted to Buyer and moved to New York City into a fabulous (yet small) studio apartment on the Upper East Side. Everyday, I now get to select, edit, and buy the fabulous blouse and jeans that I’ve always wanted to.

Life is great and I could not ask for anything more. To get to see a dream of mine come to fruition at the tender age of 24, is amazing and powerful at the same time. I am so proud of myself and everything that I’ve accomplished. But.. and there is always a but… in transitioning into my self defined greatness I’ve also realized that I’ve left a lot behind me; my home in Boston, friends, and boyfriend. My old roommate has found a new roommate, my boyfriend still frequents our old hangout spots without me, and my friends are still up to their antics without me present. My intentions when writing this were to express how sad I was about everything not stopping because I was no longer present, which I know sounds wildly self-centered of me, but this is my blog and I can speak my truth (so ha!).

After further thought I now realize that my decision to move was a critical and necessary one for ME. I chose to make the decision to move to NYC and live alone to challenge myself and live out my dreams. To think that everything would stop or slow down purely because I was no longer there was ridiculous. Life goes on. It doesn’t slow down for anything or anyone. For the past three months, I have felt like I’ve been missing out on everything in Boston, when in actuality I’ve been missing out on things in New York. I now realize that sometimes you have to let go of something good to get something great (career wise, not my friends/ boyfriend.. I love them).

To sit and wish I was somewhere else is to waste where I am now. I need to sit back and enjoy the fruits of my labor. I got here…. now to figure out what to do with it all.

Jamba Juice Ain’t Got Nothing on Me

This morning I woke up at 6:00 a.m. And if you knew me, you’d know that is UNHEARD of for this woman. I am not to be disturbed until after my first sip of coffee. But this morning was different; this morning, I had planned to start the morning healthy and take the first steps toward a different lifestyle. After spending more than half my Sunday looking up workouts, vitamin supplements, probiotics, healthy food choices, and recipes for the perfect smoothie; I set out on my journey to the grocery store. With my bags a lot heavier and wallet A LOT lighter, I returned armed and ready for the healthy life I’ve been talking about since the beginning of the year and in my previous post You’re Only as Strong as your Weakest Link.

Being the planner that I am, I planned out my meals for the week, and breakfast I decided would be special.  Breakfast, was going to be a Citrus Berry Smoothie, which I was so exited to try out. So excited, that I woke up at the crack of dawn and dragged the boyfriend into the kitchen to witness my amazing “future wife making smoothie skills”.  As I  got out all the necessary ingredients, I talked up how good this smoothie was going to be, how great we were both going to feel, and how a healthy life was the best life. But as I reached for the blender, my weak non iron pumping arms gave out and for what felt like 30 minutes everything was in slow motion. As I watched the blender slowly crash to the floor and shatter into a million little pieces, I felt my citrus smoothie dreams crash along with it. Talk about starting your morning right.

Attempt #2 tomorrow:  I bought a new blender and I even did a few push-ups for good measure.

My Life, One Big Romantic Comedy

I’ve been in a relationship for almost a year now and it’s unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. We have a genuine connection without all the drama. It’s just two people who are best friends and share common interests. It’s one of those relationships that forced me to re-evaluate all of my previous ones and smack myself for all the dumb decisions I’ve made. The difference between this relationship and all others, is that I realized that if I wanted that “Rom-Com” kind of love, I needed to cast the right actor for the role. I needed to find that person that I *SPARKED* with, who I had that organic chemistry with. I was in search of the “Carrie & Big” kind of chemistry, minus all the breakup stuff. So I set my sights on meeting my “Mr. Big” and lucky me, I found him!

In this life, you have to use all resources to gain perspective on all things foreign, why should love be any different? Romantic Comedies can be used as tools to gain the upper hand in all things related to love, if used properly. You laugh now, but having watched He’s Just Not That Into You, Hitch, The Devil Wears Prada, and all six seasons of Sex and the City more than 1,000 times I am fully qualified to speak on all things pertaining to love. I know in my previous posts I’ve warned against watching movies (see: Don’t Watch Movies) when getting out of a relationship, but when trying to start one, movies are the perfect vehicle to learn from others’ mistakes without having to go through the embarrassment yourself.

Situation #1 : You’ve been dating the same guy for 7 years, you live together, and he hasn’t proposed because he doesn’t believe in marriage. Solution: Break up with him. When you have a family emergency and he comes back like a Knight in shining armor , take him back. Remind yourself that the only conditions that need to be placed on your relationship are the ones you mutually agree upon.

Situation #2: You broke up with your guy after finding out that he’s secretly the “Date-Doctor”, whom you think only helps guys get into bed with women, but then find out that he’s actually the “Love Doctor”. Solution: Apologize, and when he doesn’t accept it, wait. When he finally figures out that you are the one, play hard-to-get. Feel free to use your sister’s good-looking husband as a prop in your scheme. Remind yourself that you are worth him taking the leap of faith with you in this relationship, even if his leap includes a physical one on top of your Mini Cooper.

Situation #3: When you and your guy breakup because you finally got a job that will open a ton doors for you, and propel you further in your career; and you spend more time at work, going to parties, running errands around NYC, wearing Chanel boots, and flying to Paris than you spend eating Jarlsberg grilled cheese sandwiches in your studio apartment with your boyfriend. Solution: You will realize that your job sucks; you’ll quit and still get an awesome reference. Then, you’ll end up meeting up with your ex and he’ll tell you he’s moving to Boston, you’ll know that the train ride is only 3 hours from NYC and you two will have time to work on your relationship

Situation#4: If you have been dating a guy for 10 years, but he he’s having a tough time committing to you, moves to Napa, has his guard up ALL the time, gets married and divorced twice, and still has trouble getting out of limos to join you at the altar. Solution: Remind yourself that love does not conquer all; you still need to pay rent, and live your own life. Things generally don’t work out when you are willing to give more than the other person. After you both realize this, it will be the most opportune time for the love of your life to literally sweep you off your feet.

I can’t say it’s a perfect science, but hey.. Something clicked

Has Business School Taught me Nothing?

In college there may or may not have been a heavy emphasis on the word networking. Being in business school, I might have heard a few lectures surrounding the topic, all of which until recently, I had filed away under “things you learn in college but are not really applicable”. Subjects such as geometry and earth science can be filed there; I mean who really cares all that much about sedimentary rocks or what temperature lava boils?

So I’m sure you can imagine my shock and horror when I found myself going to the Massachusetts Conference for Women without a business card tucked ever so neatly in my handbag. What’s that I hear? The grasp heard around the world?! She went to a professional conference without business cards?!

YES! So shoot me!

Well here’s what happened– the night before I found myself walking all over the streets of Boston, boyfriend in toe, trying to find a 24 hour Fedex Office. I thought that if I could throw something together, I could at least pretend to be professional at this thing.  Unfortunately, Fedex Office needs at least 2-4 days to print business cards, so again I saw no salvation to my dilemma.

Whelp ladies and gentlemen much like everything written in the blog, there is a lesson here.

1. Always do your homework before going to a professional event.
2. Someone invented Vistaprint for a reason, USE it!
3. Don’t stress yourself out too much!
4. Be clear on what you want to get out of the event
5. Follow-up!!!

For those of you who are wondering, I ended up having a great time at the conference. I chose not to stress about my lack of business cards, but rather focus on meeting new people, having conversations and asking for their cards! It ended up being a great conference, and I learned a lot about myself and networking. Below is a link to the conference, if you are in the Boston area, make sure to check it out: http://www.maconferenceforwomen.org/

I’m only myself after the hours of 9-5 and at Happy Hour

What does it mean to be authentic?

As I go through what one might call a quarter life crisis, I’ve tried to identify traits that I hold dear to me in all of my relationships. Knowing that authenticity and one’s ability to remain consistent to some degree is of importance to me, I try to hold on to the people in my life that I feel are truly being themselves. But then I couldn’t help but challenge/ critic my own thought process. Knowing that I am going through a ” quarter life crisis”, where I am trying to find myself, how can I expect the people in my life to know themselves to a higher degree than I do? What makes it okay for me to be inconsistent and on my journey, but not okay for others? To be honest the truth is, it makes ME feel better to have some consistency in my life, meaning that those in my life need to have things already figured out!

So knowing that is completely unreasonable and stupid, what can I do to prevent these high expectations from bubbling up in my mind?  Seeing people for the good they bring to the table rather than what they bring to ME is one way to look at it, though it may be asking too much in the moment. If I’m being honest.

I’ve dedicated to judge based on authenticity and one’s ability to remain true to their core values in all situations. Consistency  can no longer be the gauge,but  AUTHENTICITY I can certainly respect.

An Ode to Ms. Barbara Walters

Welcome to 3rd Grade. Mrs. Rosenfeld’s Class . Voorhees Elementary School. “Pick someone who you what to be like when you grow up. Everyone will do a presentation of their  person.” I picked Barbara Walters. I wanted to be a …