You Can Only Control the Controllables

I am a control freak, this I know.  If there is anything I know about myself, it’s that if it can be planned, put into an Excel spreadsheet, checked off, or crossed out, I am all over it. For those of you who are the “fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants” kind of people, I either sound like an alien from another planet or your best friend. My ability to juggle tons of details is perfect for my line of work, but murderous in all other aspects of my life, like the weather, my love life, friendships, and the general day- to-day functions of being a human being.

This past Sunday, I watched an episode of Super Soul Sunday on OWN featuring DeVonn Franklin a film executive, pastor, author, motivational speaker, and husband to Meaghan Good. Throughout the episode he used an analogy that related life to a movie project. He spoke in a spiritual sense about God being the director and us being there to co-create our lives. He went on to talk about conflict being the key to building character and growing on-screen and off.  Like any good movie, the ability of actors to accept conflict and push themselves to further to new heights, is the key to developing the storyline (and makes for great ratings!).

He went on to say that we needed to know what the vision of our lives was, and gain clarity about our purpose. Without doing so, we would be unclear of our next steps and goals.

Whether you are a religious, spiritual, or an atheist, the message can still be received.  What I got out of it, was that we can not control everything in our lives, so the less we stress about everything being “perfect” the more we can concentrate on development and growth. The more we persevere through hardships, struggles, and against eating that delicious chocolate fudge brownie, the more we grow as people (I am trying to give up sweet treats!).

Being a twenty-something is hard purely for the fact that I have no idea who I am yet. I have no idea what it really feels like to hit rock bottom, nor do I want to. I have no idea how far I will go or how long it will take me to get there.  But I will say that it feels damn great to know that I can’t fuck this up because I cannot control everything else around me. All I can control is myself, and in some way that’s empowering. I have to have faith in myself that I can create my vision, my inspiration, and my development, the rest is up to the universe.

Here’s a link to a clip from the episode: Super Soul Sunday- DeVon Franklin

Food for Thought: Morning Digest #2

Food for Thought: Morning Digest #2

Morning Motivation: My  favorite quote is:   “Put a deadline to your Dreams, and they become Goals”. I think sometimes I don’t even know where to start when I have an idea or when I’m extremely passionate about something. But,when … Continue reading

Food for Thought: Morning Digest

My roommate and one of my best friends definitely falls under the category of “insatiable article reader”, she goes hours without even noticing anyone is in the room (which totally sucks when you want to have a conversation with someone other than yourself).  However, one of the perks of having a friend who is obsessed with reading articles, it that they tend to share. This morning I woke up to an e-mail titled “Food for Thought”, knowing that it was from my beloved article reader, I braced myself for a long one. But to my surprise, it was short, sweet, and thought invoking; my favorite kind!  Here it is:

“An old Cherokee chief took his grandchildren into the forest and sat them down and said to them, “A fight is going on inside me. This is a terrible fight and it is a fight between two wolves. One wolf is the wolf of fear, anger, arrogance, and greed. The other wolf is the wolf of courage, kindness, humility, and love.” The children were very quiet and listening to their grandfather with both their ears as he then said to them, “This same fight between the two wolves that is going on inside of me is also going on inside of you, and inside of every person. They thought about it for a minute, and then one child asked the chief, “Grandfather, which wolf will win the fight?”

He said quietly, “The one you feed.”

 – Old Cherokee legend, quoted in Someday You’ll Thank Me for This!

It made me realize that I am in control of how I choose to start my day. I make the conscious choice to feed each wolf that lives in me. Hope this finds all of you well this morning!

My roommate also has a blog, Check hers out: EverythingTaylored

Click here for the origins of the story.

Yes, I happen to be a 20something living in 2013

Happy Monday!

Last week I was contacted by David, the author of 20somethings in 2013 blog.  He asked if I would be interested in writing a profile about myself, my career, and what I have done thus far to accomplish my goals.  At first,   I was ECSTATIC,  but after about an hour or two, I realized that this profile was much like writing my self review. Not only did I need to be clear on what my career goals were, but  I needed to be honest about what steps I have taken to achieve them. YIKES!

Welp I faced my fears, and wrote this awesome post. Here’s the link to my profile and his blog, check it out:  20Somethings Profile 

 

I Love You, But it’s Killing Me

So I have come to the realization that I am the type of person that allows everyone’s shit to become my shit. Don’t get me wrong, I mean it in the most loving tone and I do it out of love. I genuinely want to help the people in my life with their shit.  Though I do not think I actually know the difference between helping them and jumping in and fixing it for them. It’s not like I go out trying to fix everyone’s problems, fight crime when I get home from work, and be a hero.  I certainly do not think I am superwoman (though the thought of being able to fly is quite enticing), It honestly just happens that way. All of this has led me to believe that I have an issue.

The issue evolves from the pure fact that my attempts at being supportive usually end with their problems somehow becoming my problems. I end up being more upset, more stressed, and more exhausted than they are. I literally take over completely and DRIVE MYSELF CRAZY!

Truth is, I don’t think I know how to be the compassionate friend. Meaning, support them through issues in life, as in listen and just be supportive. Instead, I go bat shit crazy, jump in, and join the suffering and commiseration. I am the friend who thinks it’s my duty to see them through the end and make sure they feel better so that, NO– I can feel better. I overstep boundaries, I follow-up constantly on progress, all because I genuinely feel bad if it doesn’t go the way, NO–I expected.

In an effort to not go mad<– me wishing I had a British accent, I have decided to learn what it really means to be compassionate and be a supportive friend. I vow to find the balance between telling your boyfriend off for you, and giving you that awkward “I’m Sorrrry” look accompanied with the “Sucks to be You” uncomfortable hug.

Moment of Truth #3

Put the petal to the metal and the ink on the paper

  • Make things happen by writing your vision and thoughts down.
  • Make a vision board or a book of possibilities
  • Ask for what you want. The most important part in life/business is making the ask.
  • Don’t be afraid of getting what you want when it arrives.

Birthdays Come but Once a Year.

Birthdays usually mean one of two things:

1. Time to celebrate with friends and talk about all the things you’ve done and all the things you will do.

2. Lay in bed miserable crying about how old you are, feeling badly about all the time you’ve wasted and blah blah blah. (Fortunately, being 24 I haven’t had to experience such thoughts yet, and hopefully never will, but I digress).

Let’s say you fall into bucket #1, birthdays can be like new beginnings, an automatic refresh button that allows us to reset our lives. New Years brings New Year resolutions with hopes of being a better you. Anniversaries give us a reason to celebrate one more year of love and happiness with boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, and wives.

Point being, everyone has a day that forces them to take a step back and examine life, and get a pulse of their progression. It just seems odd to me that as people we don’t reflect more often and think of everyday as the refresh button. Every day is a chance to take a step back, take a deep breath and look back upon our lives. Every day has the potential to be a “New Year”, a “Birthday” and every day is a new step  on your journey.

Basically what I’m trying to say, is that birthdays only come once a year, so we shouldn’t have to wait for them to take time and reflect. Lord knows I am not that patient. But frankly, we have that option every single day.
Here are the ways I choose to take a step back :
  1. Meditation –Top 8 Tips for Meditation.
  2. Reading –  these are my favorites: Iyanla Vanzant- One Day my Soul Just Opened Up & Micheal Singer – The Untethered Soul.
  3. Get a journal and write down your goals that way you have something tangible to work towards.

An Ode to Ms. Barbara Walters

Welcome to 3rd Grade. Mrs. Rosenfeld’s Class . Voorhees Elementary School. “Pick someone who you what to be like when you grow up. Everyone will do a presentation of their  person.” I picked Barbara Walters. I wanted to be a … Continue reading