Some girl is sleeping in my bed…

Life is interesting… Or maybe I should say people are interesting. Matter of fact I’m interesting (not to toot my own horn or anything). I have dreamed of living in New York City longer than I can remember. I’ve always been infatuated with the lights, glamour, hustle, people, food, and art. Another dream of mine was to become a clothing Buyer. I’ve always wanted to be the person that chose the fabulous blouse and great jeans that made someone’s day. Whelp a few months ago, after years of studying the business, struggling, failing, then finally succeeding, my dreams came true. I got promoted to Buyer and moved to New York City into a fabulous (yet small) studio apartment on the Upper East Side. Everyday, I now get to select, edit, and buy the fabulous blouse and jeans that I’ve always wanted to.

Life is great and I could not ask for anything more. To get to see a dream of mine come to fruition at the tender age of 24, is amazing and powerful at the same time. I am so proud of myself and everything that I’ve accomplished. But.. and there is always a but… in transitioning into my self defined greatness I’ve also realized that I’ve left a lot behind me; my home in Boston, friends, and boyfriend. My old roommate has found a new roommate, my boyfriend still frequents our old hangout spots without me, and my friends are still up to their antics without me present. My intentions when writing this were to express how sad I was about everything not stopping because I was no longer present, which I know sounds wildly self-centered of me, but this is my blog and I can speak my truth (so ha!).

After further thought I now realize that my decision to move was a critical and necessary one for ME. I chose to make the decision to move to NYC and live alone to challenge myself and live out my dreams. To think that everything would stop or slow down purely because I was no longer there was ridiculous. Life goes on. It doesn’t slow down for anything or anyone. For the past three months, I have felt like I’ve been missing out on everything in Boston, when in actuality I’ve been missing out on things in New York. I now realize that sometimes you have to let go of something good to get something great (career wise, not my friends/ boyfriend.. I love them).

To sit and wish I was somewhere else is to waste where I am now. I need to sit back and enjoy the fruits of my labor. I got here…. now to figure out what to do with it all.

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Food for Thought: Morning Digest

My roommate and one of my best friends definitely falls under the category of “insatiable article reader”, she goes hours without even noticing anyone is in the room (which totally sucks when you want to have a conversation with someone other than yourself).  However, one of the perks of having a friend who is obsessed with reading articles, it that they tend to share. This morning I woke up to an e-mail titled “Food for Thought”, knowing that it was from my beloved article reader, I braced myself for a long one. But to my surprise, it was short, sweet, and thought invoking; my favorite kind!  Here it is:

“An old Cherokee chief took his grandchildren into the forest and sat them down and said to them, “A fight is going on inside me. This is a terrible fight and it is a fight between two wolves. One wolf is the wolf of fear, anger, arrogance, and greed. The other wolf is the wolf of courage, kindness, humility, and love.” The children were very quiet and listening to their grandfather with both their ears as he then said to them, “This same fight between the two wolves that is going on inside of me is also going on inside of you, and inside of every person. They thought about it for a minute, and then one child asked the chief, “Grandfather, which wolf will win the fight?”

He said quietly, “The one you feed.”

 – Old Cherokee legend, quoted in Someday You’ll Thank Me for This!

It made me realize that I am in control of how I choose to start my day. I make the conscious choice to feed each wolf that lives in me. Hope this finds all of you well this morning!

My roommate also has a blog, Check hers out: EverythingTaylored

Click here for the origins of the story.

Lions and Tigers and Cellphones Oh My!

I hate the phone, I slightly even hate text messaging. The thought of holding a rectangular shaped item to my ear literally makes me cringe and want to live like a cave person (after they figured out the whole fire part). Maybe I’m lazy, or maybe I am anti-technology, and can not appreciate the advances we’ve  made since the ’40s, I do not care. I am a  face to face connection kind of person. I am the girl in the office who gets up to talk to Molly even though her desk is more than 20 steps away. Yes, I could send an e-mail or call her, but NO I’d rather speak words to her face!

Have we become a society in which face to face communication is passé? Are we too cool to get up and walk over to people’s desks, meet up for coffee, or have weekly brunch dates? Do we only respond to vibrating rectangles and high pitched noises coming from our purses/ pockets?  Dear God, I hope not

I hope not, or I will lose ALL my friends…

I Love You, But it’s Killing Me

So I have come to the realization that I am the type of person that allows everyone’s shit to become my shit. Don’t get me wrong, I mean it in the most loving tone and I do it out of love. I genuinely want to help the people in my life with their shit.  Though I do not think I actually know the difference between helping them and jumping in and fixing it for them. It’s not like I go out trying to fix everyone’s problems, fight crime when I get home from work, and be a hero.  I certainly do not think I am superwoman (though the thought of being able to fly is quite enticing), It honestly just happens that way. All of this has led me to believe that I have an issue.

The issue evolves from the pure fact that my attempts at being supportive usually end with their problems somehow becoming my problems. I end up being more upset, more stressed, and more exhausted than they are. I literally take over completely and DRIVE MYSELF CRAZY!

Truth is, I don’t think I know how to be the compassionate friend. Meaning, support them through issues in life, as in listen and just be supportive. Instead, I go bat shit crazy, jump in, and join the suffering and commiseration. I am the friend who thinks it’s my duty to see them through the end and make sure they feel better so that, NO– I can feel better. I overstep boundaries, I follow-up constantly on progress, all because I genuinely feel bad if it doesn’t go the way, NO–I expected.

In an effort to not go mad<– me wishing I had a British accent, I have decided to learn what it really means to be compassionate and be a supportive friend. I vow to find the balance between telling your boyfriend off for you, and giving you that awkward “I’m Sorrrry” look accompanied with the “Sucks to be You” uncomfortable hug.

Sometimes We All Need to be a Little Selfish

If I had a boyfriend who was romantic and sweet, then I wouldn’t be so pissed off all the time… If I had those new $600 boots, then I wouldn’t need anything else for the Fall season. Sometimes, it can be incredibility … Continue reading

Don’t Watch Movies

You just broke up with your boyfriend.

For the last time.

STOP right there.

Put the remote down.

When going through a breakup do not watch How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. Do not watch Hitch and don’t even think about watching Sex in the City. Yes this is blunt advice, but before you completely write me off keep reading!

Basically you shouldn’t be watching any movie that tells you that love conquers all. Look, I am not here to sound like a debbie downer, crush all your dreams, and sound like a cynical heartless bitch. Love is not complete bullshit. Believe it or not I am a hopeless romantic, just with the right person! I am trying to get you past the bullshit of ” he’s the only one for you”. Not to mention that I’m just trying to save you from a couple of months of heartache.

You two broke up. Process those words. That means that no matter how many times you watch Going the Distance it will not change your situation personally. Save yourself the trouble. Instead of trying to envision how perfect your lives would have been, try to focus on how perfect your life is going to be.

Work on that one thing you’ve always wanted to do but never had the time to. Apply for that great job across country and move to a new city! Surround yourself with family and those who love you for the great person you are.

Go on that fabulous trip with your girlfriends, drink one too many margaritas and wake up the next morning with a story that will let your grandchildren know that you lived once too.

If there is anything that I’ve learned thus far in my life, it’s that life has just begun. Finding the man of your dreams will happen when you have found yourself. It may seem like you’re stuck in a rut, but this is just a curve in the road.

Now is the time to live your life to the fullest. Now is the time to do the things you’ve always wanted to do. You can drink. Smoke. Have sex with that guy in the bar you just met. Hell you can have sex with a prostitute in Nevada (not my first recommendation, but it’s your life, this is a judgement free zone. I’d use a condom though 🙂 ) . Whatever it is, get up, turn off the DVD player, and let go of that guy you broke up with. Grab a drink with the girls and start over.

Trust me, you CAN do it.

“Everything that happens,happens and it couldn’t have happened any other way”.