You Can Only Control the Controllables

I am a control freak, this I know.  If there is anything I know about myself, it’s that if it can be planned, put into an Excel spreadsheet, checked off, or crossed out, I am all over it. For those of you who are the “fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants” kind of people, I either sound like an alien from another planet or your best friend. My ability to juggle tons of details is perfect for my line of work, but murderous in all other aspects of my life, like the weather, my love life, friendships, and the general day- to-day functions of being a human being.

This past Sunday, I watched an episode of Super Soul Sunday on OWN featuring DeVonn Franklin a film executive, pastor, author, motivational speaker, and husband to Meaghan Good. Throughout the episode he used an analogy that related life to a movie project. He spoke in a spiritual sense about God being the director and us being there to co-create our lives. He went on to talk about conflict being the key to building character and growing on-screen and off.  Like any good movie, the ability of actors to accept conflict and push themselves to further to new heights, is the key to developing the storyline (and makes for great ratings!).

He went on to say that we needed to know what the vision of our lives was, and gain clarity about our purpose. Without doing so, we would be unclear of our next steps and goals.

Whether you are a religious, spiritual, or an atheist, the message can still be received.  What I got out of it, was that we can not control everything in our lives, so the less we stress about everything being “perfect” the more we can concentrate on development and growth. The more we persevere through hardships, struggles, and against eating that delicious chocolate fudge brownie, the more we grow as people (I am trying to give up sweet treats!).

Being a twenty-something is hard purely for the fact that I have no idea who I am yet. I have no idea what it really feels like to hit rock bottom, nor do I want to. I have no idea how far I will go or how long it will take me to get there.  But I will say that it feels damn great to know that I can’t fuck this up because I cannot control everything else around me. All I can control is myself, and in some way that’s empowering. I have to have faith in myself that I can create my vision, my inspiration, and my development, the rest is up to the universe.

Here’s a link to a clip from the episode: Super Soul Sunday- DeVon Franklin

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Birthdays Come but Once a Year.

Birthdays usually mean one of two things:

1. Time to celebrate with friends and talk about all the things you’ve done and all the things you will do.

2. Lay in bed miserable crying about how old you are, feeling badly about all the time you’ve wasted and blah blah blah. (Fortunately, being 24 I haven’t had to experience such thoughts yet, and hopefully never will, but I digress).

Let’s say you fall into bucket #1, birthdays can be like new beginnings, an automatic refresh button that allows us to reset our lives. New Years brings New Year resolutions with hopes of being a better you. Anniversaries give us a reason to celebrate one more year of love and happiness with boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, and wives.

Point being, everyone has a day that forces them to take a step back and examine life, and get a pulse of their progression. It just seems odd to me that as people we don’t reflect more often and think of everyday as the refresh button. Every day is a chance to take a step back, take a deep breath and look back upon our lives. Every day has the potential to be a “New Year”, a “Birthday” and every day is a new step  on your journey.

Basically what I’m trying to say, is that birthdays only come once a year, so we shouldn’t have to wait for them to take time and reflect. Lord knows I am not that patient. But frankly, we have that option every single day.
Here are the ways I choose to take a step back :
  1. Meditation –Top 8 Tips for Meditation.
  2. Reading –  these are my favorites: Iyanla Vanzant- One Day my Soul Just Opened Up & Micheal Singer – The Untethered Soul.
  3. Get a journal and write down your goals that way you have something tangible to work towards.