Yes, I happen to be a 20something living in 2013

Happy Monday!

Last week I was contacted by David, the author of 20somethings in 2013 blog.  He asked if I would be interested in writing a profile about myself, my career, and what I have done thus far to accomplish my goals.  At first,   I was ECSTATIC,  but after about an hour or two, I realized that this profile was much like writing my self review. Not only did I need to be clear on what my career goals were, but  I needed to be honest about what steps I have taken to achieve them. YIKES!

Welp I faced my fears, and wrote this awesome post. Here’s the link to my profile and his blog, check it out:  20Somethings Profile 

 

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My Life, One Big Romantic Comedy

I’ve been in a relationship for almost a year now and it’s unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. We have a genuine connection without all the drama. It’s just two people who are best friends and share common interests. It’s one of those relationships that forced me to re-evaluate all of my previous ones and smack myself for all the dumb decisions I’ve made. The difference between this relationship and all others, is that I realized that if I wanted that “Rom-Com” kind of love, I needed to cast the right actor for the role. I needed to find that person that I *SPARKED* with, who I had that organic chemistry with. I was in search of the “Carrie & Big” kind of chemistry, minus all the breakup stuff. So I set my sights on meeting my “Mr. Big” and lucky me, I found him!

In this life, you have to use all resources to gain perspective on all things foreign, why should love be any different? Romantic Comedies can be used as tools to gain the upper hand in all things related to love, if used properly. You laugh now, but having watched He’s Just Not That Into You, Hitch, The Devil Wears Prada, and all six seasons of Sex and the City more than 1,000 times I am fully qualified to speak on all things pertaining to love. I know in my previous posts I’ve warned against watching movies (see: Don’t Watch Movies) when getting out of a relationship, but when trying to start one, movies are the perfect vehicle to learn from others’ mistakes without having to go through the embarrassment yourself.

Situation #1 : You’ve been dating the same guy for 7 years, you live together, and he hasn’t proposed because he doesn’t believe in marriage. Solution: Break up with him. When you have a family emergency and he comes back like a Knight in shining armor , take him back. Remind yourself that the only conditions that need to be placed on your relationship are the ones you mutually agree upon.

Situation #2: You broke up with your guy after finding out that he’s secretly the “Date-Doctor”, whom you think only helps guys get into bed with women, but then find out that he’s actually the “Love Doctor”. Solution: Apologize, and when he doesn’t accept it, wait. When he finally figures out that you are the one, play hard-to-get. Feel free to use your sister’s good-looking husband as a prop in your scheme. Remind yourself that you are worth him taking the leap of faith with you in this relationship, even if his leap includes a physical one on top of your Mini Cooper.

Situation #3: When you and your guy breakup because you finally got a job that will open a ton doors for you, and propel you further in your career; and you spend more time at work, going to parties, running errands around NYC, wearing Chanel boots, and flying to Paris than you spend eating Jarlsberg grilled cheese sandwiches in your studio apartment with your boyfriend. Solution: You will realize that your job sucks; you’ll quit and still get an awesome reference. Then, you’ll end up meeting up with your ex and he’ll tell you he’s moving to Boston, you’ll know that the train ride is only 3 hours from NYC and you two will have time to work on your relationship

Situation#4: If you have been dating a guy for 10 years, but he he’s having a tough time committing to you, moves to Napa, has his guard up ALL the time, gets married and divorced twice, and still has trouble getting out of limos to join you at the altar. Solution: Remind yourself that love does not conquer all; you still need to pay rent, and live your own life. Things generally don’t work out when you are willing to give more than the other person. After you both realize this, it will be the most opportune time for the love of your life to literally sweep you off your feet.

I can’t say it’s a perfect science, but hey.. Something clicked

stan and t

Moment of Truth #4

Reality TV is warping my brain. It’s like a vacuum sucking me in, and I’m done for. There is no saving me, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and the Bachelor are my drug of choice and I proudly stand by my choices. Rehab may be in my near future, who knows, but for right now I am completely a-okay with my choices.

Judge me. I will accept that rose 😉

You’re Only as Strong as your Weakest Link

Thus far in my life there has never been a time when I thought I couldn’t do something. Don’t get me wrong, there have been times when I have doubted my abilities and the outcome, but never have I ever thought that I could not do something. I have my Mom to thank for the encouragement and good rearing, which was heavily based on the efficacy principle (more to come of that!).

This philosophy has worked in every aspect of my life EXCEPT when it came to being healthy and working out. I seemed to have a hard time getting on the treadmill and putting down the cosmos, late night snacks, and ice cream. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I’m 300 pounds or anything, but I do want to be healthy and live a long life. More importantly, I would like to put on a bathing suit and not want to go on a cottage cheese and water diet 1 week before my vacation (I do not recommend at all, totally not safe and not all that effective).

So in an effort to stay healthy and look semi-decent in a bathing suit come summer time, I’ve decided to be smart about this whole thing and come up with a plan. Life is short blah blah blah, I know– but I think I can be healthy and drink wine (red wine of course) at the same time.

So far, here’s the plan:

  1. Learn how to eat healthy – Go see a nutritionist and read health magazine and blogs.
  2. Sign up for Myfitnesspal.com to track my progress. This website allows you to track both food and exercise.
  3. Use Pintrest as a motivating tool Pintrest board- Working on my Fitness Board
  4. Try to go Vegetarian in the month of March.
  5. Stick to it!

Any other things to consider??

Has Business School Taught me Nothing?

In college there may or may not have been a heavy emphasis on the word networking. Being in business school, I might have heard a few lectures surrounding the topic, all of which until recently, I had filed away under “things you learn in college but are not really applicable”. Subjects such as geometry and earth science can be filed there; I mean who really cares all that much about sedimentary rocks or what temperature lava boils?

So I’m sure you can imagine my shock and horror when I found myself going to the Massachusetts Conference for Women without a business card tucked ever so neatly in my handbag. What’s that I hear? The grasp heard around the world?! She went to a professional conference without business cards?!

YES! So shoot me!

Well here’s what happened– the night before I found myself walking all over the streets of Boston, boyfriend in toe, trying to find a 24 hour Fedex Office. I thought that if I could throw something together, I could at least pretend to be professional at this thing.  Unfortunately, Fedex Office needs at least 2-4 days to print business cards, so again I saw no salvation to my dilemma.

Whelp ladies and gentlemen much like everything written in the blog, there is a lesson here.

  1. Always do your homework before going to a professional event.
  2. Someone invented Vistaprint for a reason, USE it!
  3. Don’t stress yourself out too much!
  4. Be clear on what you want to get out of the event
  5. Follow-up!!!

For those of you who are wondering, I ended up having a great time at the conference. I chose not to stress about my lack of business cards, but rather focus on meeting new people, having conversations and asking for their cards! It ended up being a great conference, and I learned a lot about myself and networking. Below is a link to the conference, if you are in the Boston area, make sure to check it out: http://www.maconferenceforwomen.org/

Lions and Tigers and Cellphones Oh My!

I hate the phone, I slightly even hate text messaging. The thought of holding a rectangular shaped item to my ear literally makes me cringe and want to live like a cave person (after they figured out the whole fire part). Maybe I’m lazy, or maybe I am anti-technology, and can not appreciate the advances we’ve  made since the ’40s, I do not care. I am a  face to face connection kind of person. I am the girl in the office who gets up to talk to Molly even though her desk is more than 20 steps away. Yes, I could send an e-mail or call her, but NO I’d rather speak words to her face!

Have we become a society in which face to face communication is passé? Are we too cool to get up and walk over to people’s desks, meet up for coffee, or have weekly brunch dates? Do we only respond to vibrating rectangles and high pitched noises coming from our purses/ pockets?  Dear God, I hope not

I hope not, or I will lose ALL my friends…

I Love You, But it’s Killing Me

So I have come to the realization that I am the type of person that allows everyone’s shit to become my shit. Don’t get me wrong, I mean it in the most loving tone and I do it out of love. I genuinely want to help the people in my life with their shit.  Though I do not think I actually know the difference between helping them and jumping in and fixing it for them. It’s not like I go out trying to fix everyone’s problems, fight crime when I get home from work, and be a hero.  I certainly do not think I am superwoman (though the thought of being able to fly is quite enticing), It honestly just happens that way. All of this has led me to believe that I have an issue.

The issue evolves from the pure fact that my attempts at being supportive usually end with their problems somehow becoming my problems. I end up being more upset, more stressed, and more exhausted than they are. I literally take over completely and DRIVE MYSELF CRAZY!

Truth is, I don’t think I know how to be the compassionate friend. Meaning, support them through issues in life, as in listen and just be supportive. Instead, I go bat shit crazy, jump in, and join the suffering and commiseration. I am the friend who thinks it’s my duty to see them through the end and make sure they feel better so that, NO– I can feel better. I overstep boundaries, I follow-up constantly on progress, all because I genuinely feel bad if it doesn’t go the way, NO–I expected.

In an effort to not go mad<– me wishing I had a British accent, I have decided to learn what it really means to be compassionate and be a supportive friend. I vow to find the balance between telling your boyfriend off for you, and giving you that awkward “I’m Sorrrry” look accompanied with the “Sucks to be You” uncomfortable hug.

Moment of Truth #3

Put the petal to the metal and the ink on the paper

  • Make things happen by writing your vision and thoughts down.
  • Make a vision board or a book of possibilities
  • Ask for what you want. The most important part in life/business is making the ask.
  • Don’t be afraid of getting what you want when it arrives.

Birthdays Come but Once a Year.

Birthdays usually mean one of two things:

1. Time to celebrate with friends and talk about all the things you’ve done and all the things you will do.

2. Lay in bed miserable crying about how old you are, feeling badly about all the time you’ve wasted and blah blah blah. (Fortunately, being 24 I haven’t had to experience such thoughts yet, and hopefully never will, but I digress).

Let’s say you fall into bucket #1, birthdays can be like new beginnings, an automatic refresh button that allows us to reset our lives. New Years brings New Year resolutions with hopes of being a better you. Anniversaries give us a reason to celebrate one more year of love and happiness with boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, and wives.

Point being, everyone has a day that forces them to take a step back and examine life, and get a pulse of their progression. It just seems odd to me that as people we don’t reflect more often and think of everyday as the refresh button. Every day is a chance to take a step back, take a deep breath and look back upon our lives. Every day has the potential to be a “New Year”, a “Birthday” and every day is a new step  on your journey.

Basically what I’m trying to say, is that birthdays only come once a year, so we shouldn’t have to wait for them to take time and reflect. Lord knows I am not that patient. But frankly, we have that option every single day.
Here are the ways I choose to take a step back :
  1. Meditation –Top 8 Tips for Meditation.
  2. Reading –  these are my favorites: Iyanla Vanzant- One Day my Soul Just Opened Up & Micheal Singer – The Untethered Soul.
  3. Get a journal and write down your goals that way you have something tangible to work towards.